It’s Already Like He’s Never Been Away

We head over to Warwick (Coventry) to rescue Son from the purgatory that has been his first term at University. Non-stop partying, must have been hell. It seems like he’s only been there five minutes and compared with some of his mates, he has. His course started a week later and finished a week earlier than most.

The University wants them all out by 10am and when we arrive there just after 9am there are SWAT teams of cleaners, armed to the teeth with industrial strength solutions, waiting to swoop. Son, surprisingly, is up, ready and packed. Although looking very bleary eyed, perhaps he’s not actually been to bed yet.

We drop him back at home, where he crawls up the stairs and into bed. It’s already like he’s never been away. Then we start packing and prepare to head up to the Lakes for the rest of the weekend.

The drive up the M6 is uneventful, which is good and there is no snow anywhere, which is sad. I think we have one of the few surviving patches in our own garden. The first snow we see is on the Lakeland fells and as leave the M6, there is also some still in the fields. Very festive.

We negotiate the narrow lakes to Troutbeck which is a new destination for us and find our accommodation for the weekend, the ‘Mortal Man’.



The ‘Mortal Man’ is a traditional inn dating back to 1689, with apparently a short break a few years ago when the then owner tried to rebrand it as some sort of cocktail bar. The current owners, who have been there for about eighteen months, have turned it back into a very charming inn.

The first thing you notice is its striking pub sign,



which carries the rhyme:-

"Thou mortal man that lives by bread
What is it that makes thy nose so red?
Thou silly fool that lookst so pale,
'Tis drinking Sally Birkett's ale."

At the time the original sign was painted, the landlord was a chap called Tommy Birkett and Sally was presumably his other half.



So naturally one of the first things we do after checking in is to head down to the bar, settle in front of the real log fire, reprimand MD for barking at a fellow canine guest and sample Sally's ale, which is actually a bitter from the Hawkshead Brewery and it’s pleasant enough. As is the Jennings’ Cumberland Ale which is alongside it on the bar. The third of their ales is Timothy Taylor’s Landlord which I don’t try, although I have nothing against it, because it isn’t from Cumbria. So I don’t see the point when you can support the local ales on the bar.

Then we hit the food, which too is very good and they have a cheeseboard, so bonus points for that.

(Saturday 11th December)

Braving The Conditions

Well I don’t get a third bump on my head as I brave the conditions and cycle into work. First I had to walk off our estate, the snow has now turned to thick ice and isn’t navigable but the main roads were fine, although salted unfortunately. An odd move by the council, as they claim to be short of the stuff and we’re in the middle of a massive thaw. I then managed to cycle right up to around 50 yards from work before I had to dismount and negotiate another temporary skating rink. Even then I could only go so far. There was no way I would have made it across our car park in my cycling shoes. In the end I chained my bike to the air conditioning unit on the front of the building.

I can also confirm that if they have used molasses coated road salt it hasn’t stuck to the road as was the intention. It had however stuck to me and my bike. It’s all up my cycling trousers. Bike wise, in theory I might be better off on my best bike. Carbon doesn't corrode, does it? But I’m not going try it to find out.

Sad news. The old dog who delivers the morning papers had died. That’s the actual dog who helps out his owner and I only saw him a few days ago on his rounds. He was 11. The poor thing had cancer on his leg.

The ice is visibly receding. By lunchtime I make it to Greggs and only have to go on the road once. By the evening, when I take the boys out for a walk, there are even fewer areas of ice around our estate, although it still meant a dismount when I cycled home.

(Friday 10th December)

Things Happen In Threes

All that nice crunchy snow has melted and it's now all turned to ice. Definitely not conditions that are conducive to any form of training. Though I have seen a few runners out, risking the pavements, using a skating sort of technique.

So it’s kind of lucky that training isn't actually required. Well not for this weekend. Great Langdale’s Christmas 10k race is off after four inches of snow fell on Tuesday night.



The main road through the valley looks better than that though, ok to drive on but might still be a bit icy to run on but their parking field at the Sticklebarn pub is under several inches.



So still no free Christmas puddings. We had a cupboard full by this time last year. We'll have to go up anyway to see if the organiser needs any help with the ones he got. He reckons he’s eaten two of the race prizes so far. Only another 998 to go then.

I look for a replacement race. There’s a run at Walsall but its 10 miles. Not sure I’m in 10 mile shape.

I’d be happy just going up to the Lakes to chill out, have a weekend away and a beer or six. Just got to tempt L into it. There’s not an open water swim on this weekend is there? Brrrr.

Talking of Brrrr. Considering the depth of the snow I might need plan B. I've stumbled across a decent looking pub that does reasonably priced B&B. That might tempt her. They say they accept well behaved dogs. I had to email to check whether they’d take two badly behaved ones.

The Red Arrow bus detours to Stapleford on the way home to drop someone off. It is supposed to be a direct service with no stops. Don’t understand it all. She wasn’t even attractive.

I was going to praise the council because at first they excelled themselves. I logged a request with their bulky waste service to get Daughter’s old bed collected and they replied the very next day, giving a date for it, today. I was even more impressed as this was in the thick of the bad weather and I was surprised anyone was even in their office that day.

Needless to say it didn’t get collected today. The bed is still here. Why am I not surprised. Every time I use this service they fail to collect at the first time of asking. They tell me later that the service has been suspended due to the severe weather conditions. Misuse of the word ‘severe’. Which leaves them a bit stuffed for what words to use should things actually start to approach severe once winter arrives.

The dustmen made it, the milkman made it, even the postman made it... well eventually. We didn’t get any post again yesterday, so he’s probably gone for a lie down after that sudden splurge of activity.

Perhaps all the bulky waste staff are out driving the gritters and then they do have a valid excuse. Could have told me in advance though because last night L and I had to drag the damn thing down our narrow staircase. One of the draws fell out of it and clobbered me on the head. Ouch.

Tonight at squash, that bruise is joined by another one. This one squash ball shaped. It was a bit of a naff game as well. After breaking his racquet last week my opponent notices his spare one is cracked too and is worried whether it will last the game. I have no grip tape on mine and hence little grip. That’s my excuse anyway.

Then his car doesn’t make it to the pub. L says things happen in threes. At the moment they seem to be happening in more than threes. If she's referring solely to bumps on the head, I hope not, as I might be on my bike tomorrow. The roads seem to have well thawed.

At least they won’t grit tonight, I think to myself, seconds before a gritting lorry passes me in the opposite direction scattering salt all over my bonnet. I though they said they were short, it’s certainly not going to freeze tonight and shouldn't he be out collecting beds.

(Thursday 9th December)

I Wouldn’t Even Know Where To Start

We had a bit more snow last night. I had to scrape it off the car. Nothing too exciting though.

Pardew? Well that’s that then. All bets are off. I won't be able to get any decent odds on Newcastle’s relegation now.



At lunchtime I start my Christmas shopping. Click, click, click, click. Done. Gosh that was stressful.

After work I finally bite the bullet and go to the leisure centre. My intention is to attempt both a gym and a swim session but with my track record the pool will be probably shut and the gym full. Amazingly though, neither is the case. I pedal an uncomfortable 15km on the bike, their bikes are the most uncomfortable ever devised. Then I run 2km on the dreadmill, which was all I had time for before heading into the pool for a brisk 750 metres (30 lengths).

I can proudly report that I trounced absolutely everybody in the gym. Macho blokes, Lycra girlies, the whole lot of 'em and especially the Chinese girl doing a workout in jeans and a woolly jumper. She was unsurprisingly sweating buckets. Maybe that was the idea.

Then... everybody trounced me in the pool. Especially one girl who dived into my lane and opened with two lengths of butterfly. We all go 'wow'. A chap says to me, ‘I used to be able to do that’. Brag. I wouldn’t even know where to start. After that though she just poddles up and down doing breaststroke and backstroke. Presumably creased after those first two lengths.

I get home, expecting to have half an hour to relax but L tells me I’ve had a call and dog training has been brought forward half an hour to 8:30. So I head off again. At least with the earlier start I should be back earlier.

Hmmm. So much for finishing early. Got an extended session but not a very good one. We did an hour and a half of start line waits. Which basically means a lot of standing, both for dogs and humans. On one of the coldest evenings of the year (-6 it was). We could have done with doing a lot of running around but no. Absolutely frozen. I can’t feel my hands. What’s worst was this was Doggo’s once a month session and he can do ‘waits’ for England. If it had been MD’s night it might have been more useful.

(Wednesday 8th December)

What Breed This Time?

-10 this morning, even I was cold and not helped by the fact that there was no heating on the bus today. Usually it’s too hot on there. I get off the bus in Derby and skate the rest of the way into work.

There’s plenty of snow in Langdale where we are supposed to be running this weekend.



They’re not hopeful of the race being on though. L’s not hopeful of getting the tent pegs in the ground.



Perhaps I best look for a B&B.

Part of L’s Christmas list is a predictable as ever, the only variant each year is what breed it is this time. I was going to put a photo up of the dog concerned which was from the RSPCA Animal Shelter at Radcliffe but Pip has already gone. To a good home I trust.

Good news for some folk, perhaps. Heavy snow has forced an eight-day lock-in for seven people at one of Britain’s highest pubs, The Lion Inn near Kirkbymoorside. Suppose it depends what the beer was.

Another gig tonight. Our last before Christmas. We’re at the excellent Venue in Derby again. Three bands tonight. First up, Control. Who from their accent must have come down from Scotland with The View. They’re ok, although their lead singer seems to have a bit of a chip on his shoulder and seems a bit miffed about the lack of feedback from the small crowd. It’s early and they’re third band on the bill, what does he expect. Their indie-verging-on-punk sound is good though and their cover of ‘20th Century Boy’ is more than competent.



‘Love In The Asylum’ was, as I recall, a poem by Dylan Thomas. Whether this has any bearing on the name of the next band I have no idea but I think we can safely say it hasn’t influenced their sound. They too are good and better than Control, more accessible too. Almost at once the crowd seems into them, as everyone mutters ‘Kings of Leon clones’. Yep there’s a definite resemblance but on closer listen it’s not their actual sound, just Dan Dunne’s vocals. He could easily pass himself off as Caleb Fallowill in a very dark room, there is no physical resemblance. Their music though makes for a pleasant half hour.



After they’ve finished and the roadies have done their stuff, I check my watch and it’s already 9.45. Oh dear. Now we're worried. The later The View come on the drunker Kyle Falconer is likely to be. Then we watch the roadies load up the stage up with alcohol. Not looking good.

When they appear, the band are upright and looking 'up for it' in a sober looking sort of way. As they open with the ska-punk of ‘Wasteland’ they’re sounding good too. After which they launch in to what appears to be a love song, a new track called ‘Grace’ I believe. Blimey, sober times indeed.



The ante is upped by the excellent ‘5 Rebeccas’ with the band exhibiting far more energy than a strangely restrained crowd and it takes the following ‘Wasted Little DJs’ to get the audience fired up. The fire though soon goes out and newbie ‘Tragic Magic’ is met with muted applause and ‘Realisation’ off ‘Which Bitch?’ doesn’t seem to get any recognition at all.

Kyle and Kieren have by now swapped places and instruments, staying that way for ‘One Off Pretender’, played for the first time on this tour, and then sharing vocals on the oddly popular ‘Skag Trendy’.



The crowd meanwhile remain very subdued, not much dancing, hardly any beer throwing and certainly no crowd surfing. Has the View’s bubble burst or is it just a poor crowd? The band perhaps don’t help by playing no less than six new numbers and the unfamiliar songs stall the momentum when it does threaten to get going. If that’s the reason, it would be a shame, because I for one like hearing bands play new material and the View’s new stuff seems to be pretty inspired, decent songs with big choruses. In fact I would take them in preference to some of their odder older moments.

The band themselves seem to have moved on a touch. They are a tighter unit tonight, so much less ramshackle than of old. More mature perhaps. You simply don't feel it's going to fall apart any second. Perhaps that’s to the detriment... They’re note perfect most of the time and what’s this? Keyboards? When did that happen? And they’re definitely going a bit soft, ‘this is another one about a girl’ I think he tells us, although translation from Scottish to English often isn’t easy, and I think it’s called ‘Girl’. So it does what it says on the tin.



As Kyle announces that their new album is due in March, he doesn’t seem happy with the crowd, assuming he can see them through his fringe. He attempts to get a bit of banter going but it doesn't happen. This isn’t a banter friendly crowd, it's not really an anything crowd but also we can't decipher his Dundee accent. In fact we can barely catch more than a word at a time. So it doesn't happen. He's not happy about that. Cue a very inappropriate new song called 'Happy'. Which rather ironically turns out to be an infectious, corker of a track.

The crowd are so muted you forgot what is still to come and when ‘Superstar Tradesman’ arrives it’s almost a shock and it finally stokes the crowd a bit.



Then they’re bravely straight into a couple more new tracks. Although one of them, ‘Sunday’, is available for nothing from their website and it sounds excellent live. Then perhaps to emphasize their new found maturity Kyle reaches for a mug rather than a bottle. A mug? Get that. It could be coffee, although I suppose just as easily it could be full of a spirit. Who knows? Either way he’s still not enamoured with one of the least appreciative crowds I’ve seen in some time.

Despite finishing off with a storming ‘Shock Horror’ and the brief ‘Typical Time’, the band seem to have no intention of returning for an encore.

Finally there are cries of 'The View, The View, The View are on fire' but it’s too late. Bet they won’t be rushing back to play for us again in Derby. Tonight the View, whilst perhaps not totally aflame were certainly smouldering away nicely, unfortunately Derby wasn’t.

(Tuesday 7th December)

Shopping Challenge Number 56

I arrive into work to be met by a virus warning on my computer. Nice, and I’ve not even been downloading anything dodgy. Well, not for ages. Turns out to be not serious for once. Phew.

Shopping challenge number 56. OMG. What does a fennel look like? L says a fennel bulb is green and ugly like stumpy celery with hairy bits on the end. So that’s crystal clear then.



What a brain meltingly stupid decision by Newcastle United Football Club to sack Chris Hughton. A man who has earned the admiration of football supporters country wide by reviving Newcastle, getting them promoted and up to the dizzy height of 11th in the Premier League when everyone thought they’d be bottom six if they were lucky. The guy deserves a medal as big as a frying pan.



I’m just off down the bookies to put some money on them to go down. They’ll sink without trace now he’s gone.

Guess what... Tonight’s council run coaching course is off. Bet that shocked you. What a surprise. Two out of my three coaching nights have now been cancelled. The tutor is ill apparently. My next scheduled one isn’t until January 11th.

No dog training tonight either but that was planned. Our trainer is away and it had fitted in nicely with my coaching course. Now they'll rescheduled the course nights I’ve missed presumably when I have other things on.

Instead I spend the evening trying to construct a working computer for Daughter out of her old deceased one and a second hand one I bought on ebay. I’m thwarted by one missing cable. Typical.

So I put the Christmas tree up instead and then when I've done it, realise that it's actually a bit early for such festive gestures. I must be sickening for something.

What Have I Let Myself In For?

With our scheduled race at Edwinstowe cancelled we brave the snow which after yesterdays rain has now mainly turned to sheet ice, to travel over to Stoke or more precisely Newcastle under Lyme for this morning Newcastle Dales Dash 10k. There are no ‘dales’ in Newcastle under Lyme by the way. ‘Dales’ is the name of the organiser.

We’re in the Apedale Valley area of Chesterton for the seventh running of the 10k which is an off road race within Apedale Community Country Park which is on the site of an old mine. Past years apparently have been very very muddy. No chance of that this year, the ground is frozen solid.

We park up and skate up the road to registration. Oh dear. What have I let myself in for? I hope it really is all off road and there aren’t any stretches of iced up tarmac like this to negotiate.

The start is actually on the road, so I take the first stretch easy before we enter the park itself and up the first of many inclines. I would describe the route as undulating. That's putting it mildly. This was no jog in the park.



Actually I take the whole thing easy, not worth breaking my neck for a fast time. Despite people with ponytails and/or zimmer frames passing me. This would not be a PB friendly course in any weather.

I have to give the organisers credit for putting this race on. We needed a run and they provided it, with (sleigh) bells on. I love the snow but it’s just been too icy to run or cycle. I've even seriously considered going to the gym. Only considered mind. So far.



There was snow and ice everywhere but it was generally grippy enough even in the normal trainers that I wore. Where the ice was too bad there were marshals making sure you stayed away from the worse bits.

The final stretch was back along the entrance road, which had defrosted a bit by then. Unfortunately we had to run past our car which meant Doggo cheered me nosily all the way along the home straight. I could hear MD joining in, although he was in his ‘box’ and couldn’t see what he was barking at, not that that seems to deter him.

All in all a friendly race, a challenging course, hilly but rewarding and not a bad T-shirt at the end. Although they did run out of the smaller sizes much to L’s frustration.



(More photos available from www.racephotos.org.uk)

My time was awful, over 48 minutes, but I blame the conditions and I’ve no idea if the course was an accurate 10k or not. I suspect it was long and there weren’t any mile or km markers to break it down. The absence of which would have really annoyed me had I been after a decent time.

Afterwards I warm myself up with coffee in the car whilst L goes in search of something to accompany it and returns with two huge chunks of chocolate cake.

Then we head home where after quickly dropping L off I head back out to the dog club AGM. I have agreed to go on the committee next year, for my sins. I may be regretting it already as there was a three way argument between two existing committee members and a third who wished to rejoin. A very juvenile 'I can’t work with them' argument ensued. Children please. What have I let myself in for?

(Sunday 5th December)